More is not always better. Unfortunately, some companies have ignored this principle altogether and adopted the less-popular creed “it doesn’t matter how irrational the end result will be, more is our best option.” Here are a few examples that come to mind…

Razor Blades
The Mach 3 is almost laughable now. Three blades? What, is Clinton still in office? The new standard is a minimum of five blades, multiple lubricating strips, and a colorful, aerodynamic handle (incase you’re shaving at high speeds). Where is this going? By the time I teach my boys how to shave, I’ll be showing them how to put on their razor mask (416 blades) and shake their head up and down for the closest shave yet (which will still be the tag line).

Chicken Soup for the Soul
I’m in the process of developing a theory that if you don’t fit into a Chicken Soup for the Soul category, you are the most worthless person on the planet. Sure, that may sound harsh, but I don’t even think I’m offending anyone. We may have reached the point where it is physically impossible to avoid being categorized by CS for the S. Isn’t that a sign of end times?

NOW
My friend (and financial adviser) Justin told me he just saw a commercial for NOW That’s What I Call Music 32. Thirty-freaking-two! Where will the line be drawn? I bet the only person who owns every NOW album has also seen every episode of Survivor.

Ply
Hey Charmin, we were fine with two-ply. I’m not sure who told you we needed more, but that person cannot be trusted. Instead of progressively adding more and more ply (to the point that we’ll be wiping with a beach towel), why don’t you concentrate your efforts on something more practical, like, I don’t know, massaging toilet paper or toilet paper with apps.

What else?
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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Technorati Tags: Charmin, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Jared, Mach 3, NOW, Subway, Survivor

1. Favorite Video Series – Shane (thanks Hayne)

2. Favorite Author – A.J. Jacobs

3. Favorite iPhone App/Website – Evernote (dorky, I know)

4. Favorite Magazine - Esquire

5. Favorite Comments – These ideas for potential Trivial Pursuits (keep them coming!)

6. Favorite Save – Phil Jackson

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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

I’m almost finished with The Know-It-All by A.J. Jacobs, one of my favorite books to date. It documents his quest to read through the entire Encyclopedia Britannica (a mere 44 million words). Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? I’m glued to this book, though – not because of the pursuit itself, but what it does to him and those around him. The encyclopedia-quest becomes a backdrop for him to tell (hilarious!) stories of his childhood, his marriage, and other random events.

I think I’m really drawn to immersion journalism, which is when someone immerses himself into a specific situation and documents his experiences, externally and internally (think 30 Days, Dirty Jobs, Super Size Me, etc).

All that to say, I’m going to give it a try. These other guys have kind of cornered the market on immersing yourself into crazy and remarkable situations. So, in keeping with the theme of my blog, I’m going to set out on more trivial pursuits, like sporting a mustache, canceling my cable, or haggling over every purchase I make, all for a month at a time.

My first Trivial Pursuit – RUNNING. There aren’t many activities in life that I dislike worse than running, so I thought it was an obvious first choice. Typically, the more I dislike something, the better the commentary about it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions on some more trivial quests. Let me know in the comments.
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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

The dictionary on my computer defines pretentiousness as “attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.” Here are a few examples of this heinous disease I observed last week in friends, strangers, and (predominantly) myself.

Saying a band “sold out”
I remember saying this about John Mayer a few years ago. I took great pleasure in letting people know I listened to him back when he was playing an acoustic guitar and singing ballads about his mouth. I couldn’t believe he would want to get paid millions of dollars more to do what he was already doing. Now I can. I hope I get to sell out one day.

Correcting my grammar
The only thing you’re proving when you interrupt my conversation to remind me that I shouldn’t end my sentence with a preposition is that we won’t be having another conversation…ever.

Scoffing at light beer
I completely understand that different people have different preferences in the beer aisle. But acting as though drinking a light beer would permanently scar your esophageal tract and send you into a mild depression is a bit overdramatic. True, it’s not Guinness. But it’s also not hydrochloric acid.

Watching Champion’s League Soccer
When you set your alarm to wake up a 4am so you can watch the quarterfinal match between Leeds United and Aston Villa, are you doing it because you really love it, or because you really love telling people you love it?

Putting an Apple sticker on your car
I get it. You’re just letting the world know you’re better than them. We really can’t argue with you.

Saying the movie wasn’t as good as the book
My first experience in this department was with The Firm. The only problem was that I couldn’t find anyone who had seen the movie to brag to. So I did what anyone else in my situation would have done. I tried to slide it into a conversation about Derek Jeter. They may not have acted like it, but deep down I think they were impressed.

What are some examples of pretentiousness you’ve observed?
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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Technorati Tags: Apple, Aston Villa, Champion's League, Derek Jeter, Guinness, John Mayer, Leeds United, The Firm

1. Favorite Interview – Tripp interviews Rob Bell

2. Favorite Website – jerksinyourarea.com (some of this is a bit offensive)

3. Favorite Album Cover – Adam Lambert’s For Your Entertainment

4. Favorite Twitterer – @FakeAPStylebook

5. Favorite AFP Photo -

6. Favorite Video – H1N1 Song/Dance

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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Technorati Tags: Adam Lambert, Fake AP Stylebook, H1N1, Rob Bell, Tripp Crosby

I wasn’t planning on posting today until I came across this photo on Ragamuffin Soul. I thought it might be nice to have a little caption contest of our own. PS – That’s Carlos doing 10 seconds of zany for the very first time with me, my giant head, and an 11-year-old DJ looking on in adoration.

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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

(I warned you that this might become a series.)

…if you refer to coffee as java.

…if you acknowledge what I say with “I know, right?”

…if there’s a toothpick in your mouth right now.

…if you’re an online or iPhone gamer.

…if you express your political viewpoints via bumper stickers.

…if you ever order “the usual”.

…if you drive a Hummer.

…if you can’t wait for Jimmy Buffet.

…if your tip ever includes pennies.

…if you liked Twilight.

…if you didn’t shed a tear during The Biggest Loser last night.

…if you refer to dollars as “bones”.

…if you quote Quagmire more than twice a week.

…if your wife mows the lawn.

…if you give people massages without them asking.

…if you wear an athletic jersey while not participating in athletics.

What are some others? By the way, your comments on these posts are my favorite.

*At least three of the above are true about me. Guess which ones they are.
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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Technorati Tags: Hummer, iPhone, Java, Jimmy Buffet, Quagmire, The Biggest Loser, Twilight

Here are ten more things that I’m willing to bet you haven’t thought of in ten years:

1. Lunchables – I can’t be certain, but these may have been the primary ticket to my second-tier popularity throughout school. I shudder to think where I would have been without them.

2. Dittos – Copies before copies were mainstream, circa 1988. I’ll never forget the smudgy, purple text, and the smell of a teacher who had just spent her lunch break in front of that machine.

3. Five Alive – A distant cousin of orange juice. A smarter, cooler, more popular cousin, I might add.

4. Grandmama – Unfortunately for Larry Johnson, this is what he’ll always be known for.

5. Book It – Who could forget Pizza Hut’s infamous reading program? Read (or write down that you read) a certain amount during the week and you’d score a free personal pan pizza and a button, which I’m certain I wore to school.

6. Blue Sportscenter Intro – Arguably the greatest and most aesthetically-pleasing set in Sportscenter history. I can’t find a clip of it anywhere.

7. Bo Knows – Somehow, I think this ad campaign is making a comeback. Seriously.

8. Mullet Humor – This was easily my favorite and most-frequented website in college.

9. Ren and Stimpy – Not only did I watch this show on Nickelodeon way past when I should have, but I proudly sported a R&S hat well into middle school.

10. George H.W. Bush – Remember that guy? Wasn’t he president at some point?

What are some things you bet the rest of us haven’t thought of in ten years?
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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Technorati Tags: Bo Jackson, Book It, Five Alive, George Bush, Grandmama, Larry Johnson, Lunchables, Pizza Hut, Ren and Stimpy

1. Favorite Leave a Mark Finale -

2. Favorite Current TV Character – Tie between this guy and this guy (on the left)

3. Favorite Digital Short – On the Ground

4. Favorite AFP Photo – Proud Papa (I’d expect this out of Bryan Allain, but not this guy)

5. Favorite Tweet – “If it’s not worth retweeting, it’s not worth tweeting (please RT)” via @trippcrosby

6. Favorite Video – Auto-Tune the News 9

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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Technorati Tags: Andy Samberg, Auto-Tune the News, Catalyst, Community, Modern Family, On the Ground, SNL, Steve Fee

Oh, and if you didn’t see the press conference for Bryan Allain’s concession speech (in regards to our Twitter race), check it out here.
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©2009 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Technorati Tags: Bryan Allain, Catalyst, Twitter